Random Thoughts

* i watched legally blonde for the nth time last night. it's so funny. anyway, elle woods mentioned a lot of things regarding one's hair. i want to change the look of my hair. i just don't know what exactly to do with it. i can have it cut or have it permed. let's see…

* it's annoying that people always demands an explanation, even at situations where it isn't necessary. i hate explaining why i do some things, especially if they're unconventional things.

* it feels so weird whenever i go out with some guy friends [i don't go out on dates, esp. after reading "i kissed dating goodbye." i just hang out with friends once in a while]. i guess, i've been so used to going out with only one guy. but i'm having fun now, anyway.

* there are opportunities to go out on a date, i just don't take them. i'm not comfortable with it. i meet some guys because of work, but no one has really caught my attention. they're awesome guys, but they're not "somebody" nor "someone." [the hell with me, i can't think of creative codenames].

* loraine wants to play matchmaker and wants to pair me up with a writer she met in a media trip to lb. oh well, let's see if he's interesting. she said, he looks like dennis trillo. hmm…

* there are things about me that i want to tell "someone." but i'm a bit scared of what his reaction might be. it has nothing to do with him, but i think telling him this will make me feel at peace and will somehow shed light on why i'm acting like this now.

* i don't want to be pretentious when i deal with "someone." i don't care if he thinks i'm weird, malabo, maldita and mataray. i tell him what's on my mind [most of it]. i tell him what i feel [well, at least about my faith, depression, confusion and feelings for my ex. i'm quiet about my feelings for him]. whenever i'm with him and whenever i talk to him, i can be myself. there are no masks, no covers, no fronting images -just my flawed imperfect self.

* i'm reading the book, "let me be a woman." it has become one of my favorite books even if i hadn't finished it yet. it talks about being a woman and being a woman for God. cool.

* i need a prayer journal. there are a lot of things and a lot of people t'm praying for.

* i don't understand why books that doubles as a journal are too expensive. there's less text and less ink is needed to print, but they're still too expensive!

* quoting ricky: is it possible for things to become a lot worse when they're already bad enough.

* musing on what ricky said: yup, things can still be a lot worse. when it rains, it really pours…

* a friend and i were talking one time. we were talking about the issue that when you have become a Christian, that's actually when the temptation is greater and the tests are harder. when you've become a Christian that doesn't mean you've become a saint or an angel. and it doesn't mean you won't have problems anymore. things change though because you learn to trust everything to God.

* God gives the best to those who leave Him the choice.

* i like reading joanna's blog. well, maybe because i see similarities between her situation and mine. anyway, she had a recent entry where she said she thought that maybe she's a jerk magnet. well, she's not alone…

* well, "someone" isn't a jerk [but we're not romantically involved anyway]. he's actually a nice guy, that's the reason why i don't want to do anything stupid and make things unpleasant between us.

* i have a friend who had a crush on "someone" when we were all still in high school. she knows about my current feelings about "someone," she said it's fine with her [i hope it really is]. but i assured her that nothing romantic is going on between us. "someone" is very loyal to "some girl."

* i miss "somebody" [the hell ma-anne, the hell]

* i received a free ringtone today from gentext and it's "sa kanya" of mymp. i hate that song. i hate it so much.. anyway, i don't want its lyrics to be applicable to me. hello! i want to be happy with someone else [not necessarily "someone" hahaha].

* i told a friend last night that i believe men are naturally polygamous and women just have to bear with it [words from a martyr, i guess]. i don't know what he thought of what i said.

* sometimes i can be such a silly girl.

* what friends say regarding me ending up back to my ex:
"huwag na ma-anne, masasaktan ka lang lalo." -gnd friends
"it wouldn't work." -loraine
"light and darkness cannot co-exist. saved ka na. hindi mo na dapat icompromise iyon." -Christian friend.

* i don't know if i should be flattered, but i'm actually annoyed that there are guys who use lousy pick-up lines to get my attention when I walk alone inside a mall. and there are guys who take my picture without permission. [what the hell will they do with my photos?!?]

* a friend asked me when was the last time i cried. hmmm… the other sunday? cool, i haven't cried for a week.

* ignorance is bliss… what you don't know, won't hurt you.

* sarah is abraham's wife. God promised abraham that he'll be the father of all nations through his wife sarah. but they became old and still they had no child. so sarah gave her servant hagar to abraham so that hagar will bear children for her. but God fulfilled His promise to sarah and abraham, even if it took a long time. they had a son - isaac. now conflict arose with sarah and hagar because of their children. hagar was sent away. and up to this day this conflict between these two women is still manifested between israelites and other tribes in their area. moral of the story: God has His own timetable. we might not understand it, but He'll fulfill His promise in the best time. and if we do something that isn't according to His plan, things wouldn't turn out well.