I was drawn into a heated discussion with Dot this week. We discussed the never ending issue of heartbreak. We talked about this before, but it decided to resurface again. How does heartbreak differ between different relationship situations? The situations we saw were, 1) Jumping into a relationship without knowing a person first and 2) falling in love or jumping into a relationship with a close friend. I wanted to know how did getting over these relationship breakups differ?
I’ve had all sorts of relationships, some weird and some which felt like I had found the one, and I’ve also fallen in love. When I broke up from a relationship with a guy or girl who I didn’t really know completely about the period of heartbreak was only short. It took only about a week to 2-3 months to get over. When I was in a serious relationship with a person who was once a close friend and we broke up, it took me a year to get over it and to be able to talk to that person again. Still now I hold a tiny grudge against that relationship. Then I fell in love with someone I couldn’t have. Someone who I knew and just admired.
In most short-term relationship we get over them pretty well. The hardest relationship breakups to get over though are the ones where we’ve poured our whole heart and soul into it. Not only were you just holding each other in a relationship, but you’re also each others bestfriend. When things go wrong though you feel betrayed. Friendship is hard to hold onto after a breakup because you just focus too much on the hurt. Unless you had a ‘real’ mutual breakup then it’d be easier to handle. The heart works in mysterious ways.
Falling in love and getting over that person after being rejected though is another story. You try to do whatever’s best for the situation. Sometimes you see things which cause you to be confused. You prioritise what is important, having a relationship with this person? or maintaining a healthy friendship? Then you think everything is right now, until change suddenly happens after commiting yourself to maintaining that friendship. I have felt betrayal, I have felt left out. Sometimes the obsessiong can turn into hate. So I try to express myself in ways which don’t harm me. As an artsy person I express my feelings through my music or scribbles. I also try not to put myself in situations where i’m aggravated by thoughts.
There are no real answers to heartbreak. All I did was a slight comparison in my own opinion. People see things and experience things differently. I guess it just takes a few burns before we find the right partner or the right friend.
God bless & Peace out
Thursday, December 27, 2007
pinkie promise…
I haven’t touched this Wordpress in ages. It’s time I updated with a brief look on my thoughts about ‘Promises.’
Making promises.We’ll always say that we’d keep them but somehow our tongue always slips or we just simply forget we made them. To be honest, i for one do not like to keep promises. I’m a very forgetful person and so therefore when a person asks me to do something for them I only say, “I’ll try, but I can’t promise.” Making promises sometimes puts us into a lot of trouble. Sometimes we get hurt when a promise isn’t kept.
She what?! He what?! Forgot their promise with you, broke it? It hurts. Yes it hurts. I see making promises a way of putting candy floss, cushions, clouds and other sweet things ontop a mountain of selfishness. To me a promise is like the sugar ontop. It’s a sign of ownage. You make someone promise, that is a sign of power. I don’t want promises, i want to be certain that what I ask for is done now. But if you see a task that is hard to do yet you force a person to promise on it, please don’t complain you’re hurt. If they promised to buy you something understand their circumstances, maybe they’re just making you wait so that yo appreciate things more. If it is something serious that tears you apart, pulls your heart out and throws it against the wall, then obviously who’s fault is it? You own for trusting this person. There you learn your mistakes.
“Oh…oops sorry I forgot about that.” The line that we wish will never leave our lips. I put my hands up to forgetting things i’ve promised to people. They get angry with you and if it’s something really important, like a close friend’s engagement party, then they don’t talk to you for a long time (lucky for me that engagement broke up, i saw the end of it coming). The only way to squeeze our way out of these problems. Think before you speak. We make promises to the people we love, but sometimes (because we’re all human!) we forget. If you’re sure you’re going to keep the promise freaking stick post-its everywhere to remind yourself (like me). If it’s a promise meant to be kept secret well my strategy? “Oh it’ll stay a secret if you want to tell me because I forget.” Most secrets i’ve sworn not to telling are all forgotten and are only triggered by things that remind me about it. Sometimes i’d forget it for about a year, then something will spark me to remember it. But still avoid making hard-to-do promises. If you’re really sure about it then make that promise, if not, just take my line, “I’ll will or will not, I can’t make it a promise.” It should be understandable, unless the person is everly selfish and wants you to be owned by them. That is called PAWNAGE! Don’t become his/her bitch! Think before you speak, that is something extremely valuable to me.
Promises, promises, promises. If you can’t keep them then don’t make them. If they can’t keep them, then don’t tell them. Learn to contemplate promises. Promises can draw people together, but remember, the hurt that sometimes comes from broken promises can tear people apart. You just have to understand that not all promises can be kept, just like how people like to say, “rules were made to be broken.” *sigh* how I love cliches.
Making promises.We’ll always say that we’d keep them but somehow our tongue always slips or we just simply forget we made them. To be honest, i for one do not like to keep promises. I’m a very forgetful person and so therefore when a person asks me to do something for them I only say, “I’ll try, but I can’t promise.” Making promises sometimes puts us into a lot of trouble. Sometimes we get hurt when a promise isn’t kept.
She what?! He what?! Forgot their promise with you, broke it? It hurts. Yes it hurts. I see making promises a way of putting candy floss, cushions, clouds and other sweet things ontop a mountain of selfishness. To me a promise is like the sugar ontop. It’s a sign of ownage. You make someone promise, that is a sign of power. I don’t want promises, i want to be certain that what I ask for is done now. But if you see a task that is hard to do yet you force a person to promise on it, please don’t complain you’re hurt. If they promised to buy you something understand their circumstances, maybe they’re just making you wait so that yo appreciate things more. If it is something serious that tears you apart, pulls your heart out and throws it against the wall, then obviously who’s fault is it? You own for trusting this person. There you learn your mistakes.
“Oh…oops sorry I forgot about that.” The line that we wish will never leave our lips. I put my hands up to forgetting things i’ve promised to people. They get angry with you and if it’s something really important, like a close friend’s engagement party, then they don’t talk to you for a long time (lucky for me that engagement broke up, i saw the end of it coming). The only way to squeeze our way out of these problems. Think before you speak. We make promises to the people we love, but sometimes (because we’re all human!) we forget. If you’re sure you’re going to keep the promise freaking stick post-its everywhere to remind yourself (like me). If it’s a promise meant to be kept secret well my strategy? “Oh it’ll stay a secret if you want to tell me because I forget.” Most secrets i’ve sworn not to telling are all forgotten and are only triggered by things that remind me about it. Sometimes i’d forget it for about a year, then something will spark me to remember it. But still avoid making hard-to-do promises. If you’re really sure about it then make that promise, if not, just take my line, “I’ll will or will not, I can’t make it a promise.” It should be understandable, unless the person is everly selfish and wants you to be owned by them. That is called PAWNAGE! Don’t become his/her bitch! Think before you speak, that is something extremely valuable to me.
Promises, promises, promises. If you can’t keep them then don’t make them. If they can’t keep them, then don’t tell them. Learn to contemplate promises. Promises can draw people together, but remember, the hurt that sometimes comes from broken promises can tear people apart. You just have to understand that not all promises can be kept, just like how people like to say, “rules were made to be broken.” *sigh* how I love cliches.
Monday, December 17, 2007
why only now?…
We can have very strong feelings for people, but it doesn't mean we should act on it. There will always be struggles between the heart and mind. For myself, i'm a person who tends to follow her heart, a lot. Then there are times when I need to think logically. Yet again i'm notorious for not thinking before I speak or act.
Feelings are hard to get rid off, but be reminded, feelings don't always last. What the heart wants isn't always what the mind wants. Still we keep thinking about these feelings, breaking them down and looking at them over again. sometimes it hurts other times we look at them blankly. Feelings, emotions, can really screw around with your perception though. It can cause you to lose focus on goals in your life.
People sacrifice a lot of things to follow their heart. The outcome can either be good or bad. I guess this is why we put a lot of thoughts in our feelings. It's hard to tell the difference between love and lust. Like in my previous post about finding "the one." How do you know? How can you tell? What is it that you're meant to feel when you find them? There's just too many questions to ask. How can you trust what you're feeling right now? Have you noticed how we don't really choose carefully who we fall in love with, yet we take our time to carefully choose our enemies? Love, is unpredictable.
Currently i'm raged by a million thoughts which I thought I had forgotten. Really I don't want them in my mind, but they are there. I can keep denying it to myself, I can distract myself, but they will always float back. My body isn't handling it well. There's so many thoughts which I wish I could just tell to go away. My mind is in a jumble, my heart is yelling out insults and pulling rude gestures at it. My "feelings" are extremely strong. I've tried everything possible to suppress them, but they've always been there. Really I just wish I could die, but it's pretty much craziness. The only question I can ask myself is, "Why?"
As strong as feelings can be we have to have the right reasons to make the right decisions. The mind and heart are like split entities. They like to argue with each other and sometimes they like to agree with one another. So it's confusing when you want to act on your heart's desires, but your brain is screaming "NO" at you.
God Bless & Peace Out!
Feelings are hard to get rid off, but be reminded, feelings don't always last. What the heart wants isn't always what the mind wants. Still we keep thinking about these feelings, breaking them down and looking at them over again. sometimes it hurts other times we look at them blankly. Feelings, emotions, can really screw around with your perception though. It can cause you to lose focus on goals in your life.
People sacrifice a lot of things to follow their heart. The outcome can either be good or bad. I guess this is why we put a lot of thoughts in our feelings. It's hard to tell the difference between love and lust. Like in my previous post about finding "the one." How do you know? How can you tell? What is it that you're meant to feel when you find them? There's just too many questions to ask. How can you trust what you're feeling right now? Have you noticed how we don't really choose carefully who we fall in love with, yet we take our time to carefully choose our enemies? Love, is unpredictable.
Currently i'm raged by a million thoughts which I thought I had forgotten. Really I don't want them in my mind, but they are there. I can keep denying it to myself, I can distract myself, but they will always float back. My body isn't handling it well. There's so many thoughts which I wish I could just tell to go away. My mind is in a jumble, my heart is yelling out insults and pulling rude gestures at it. My "feelings" are extremely strong. I've tried everything possible to suppress them, but they've always been there. Really I just wish I could die, but it's pretty much craziness. The only question I can ask myself is, "Why?"
As strong as feelings can be we have to have the right reasons to make the right decisions. The mind and heart are like split entities. They like to argue with each other and sometimes they like to agree with one another. So it's confusing when you want to act on your heart's desires, but your brain is screaming "NO" at you.
God Bless & Peace Out!
heal over…
It’s a strange feeling when you smile even though life is really tough. It’s also a greater feeling when you know your heart has been healed. The only reason why we can’t get over heartbreak and pain is because we don’t allow ourselves to. It’ll heal naturally, but sometimes we unconsciously tear it open again. The truth though is, the remedy to heartbreak is within yourself to find it and allow it to heal.
The things we do to “get over it” are only short term because eventually the thoughts cross back into your mind. For now I can only scratch the surface about being healed. I’ve found something great, and to be honest i’ve never felt as much joy in my heart. It feels great to look at a person and just smile. It’s awesome to wake up knowing that a heartbreak doesn’t mean the end of life. Sometimes we get so dilusional about finding the one in our lives we hold so fast to it. Our minds go crazy and we no longer think properly. Be a little logical, if you were to find “the one” would they cause you hurt in the first place? Would they tear your heart out, throw it on the floor and compromise everything they’ve said and done? I think not, and maybe mutual decisions were for the greater good. To some of us, maybe we really need to re-examine ourselves. How do you know what true love isif you haven’t being burned more than once? Some people find it without having to go through past failures. Eventually though, things will fall into place and something deep inside you will tell you that you’ve made the right choice.
My joy is unexplainable. For a long time I was heavy-hearted but I can now feel a heavy burden lifted off my chest. Where did I find my remedy? Well that’s for you to ask, and for you to find. I can only speak how I feel and if you wish to know I will point you in that direction. If you don’t like that decision it is your loss. I’m not only smiling because of a broken heart, but i’m also smiling because I have found my strength and inspiration again. There are decisions in life A) and B). We can’t choose both nor can we leave it for too long to answer. Sometimes decisions are made too late and the consequences can never be changed back.
God bless & peace out...
I’ve recently realised that some people are actually coming across this journal by searching my actual name. It’s a little freaky because nobody leaves comments either. Feedback to any of my posts though is encouraged.
The things we do to “get over it” are only short term because eventually the thoughts cross back into your mind. For now I can only scratch the surface about being healed. I’ve found something great, and to be honest i’ve never felt as much joy in my heart. It feels great to look at a person and just smile. It’s awesome to wake up knowing that a heartbreak doesn’t mean the end of life. Sometimes we get so dilusional about finding the one in our lives we hold so fast to it. Our minds go crazy and we no longer think properly. Be a little logical, if you were to find “the one” would they cause you hurt in the first place? Would they tear your heart out, throw it on the floor and compromise everything they’ve said and done? I think not, and maybe mutual decisions were for the greater good. To some of us, maybe we really need to re-examine ourselves. How do you know what true love isif you haven’t being burned more than once? Some people find it without having to go through past failures. Eventually though, things will fall into place and something deep inside you will tell you that you’ve made the right choice.
My joy is unexplainable. For a long time I was heavy-hearted but I can now feel a heavy burden lifted off my chest. Where did I find my remedy? Well that’s for you to ask, and for you to find. I can only speak how I feel and if you wish to know I will point you in that direction. If you don’t like that decision it is your loss. I’m not only smiling because of a broken heart, but i’m also smiling because I have found my strength and inspiration again. There are decisions in life A) and B). We can’t choose both nor can we leave it for too long to answer. Sometimes decisions are made too late and the consequences can never be changed back.
God bless & peace out...
I’ve recently realised that some people are actually coming across this journal by searching my actual name. It’s a little freaky because nobody leaves comments either. Feedback to any of my posts though is encouraged.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
how far apart…
How long does it take you to realise that a person means everything to you? Sometimes we take it for granted because the person is always there. It isn’t until that they are gone we realise how much they mean to our heart. I say this because, it doesn’t just happen between lovers, but in all degrees of relationships.
The same old jokes will make you laugh and reminicing about the past will make you cry. When you find a special person in your life you treasure them just like you treasured your very first toy. Friendship isn’t always easy to hold fast to because people are forever changing. Also sometimes we carelessly choose our friends. Have you noticed how we take more time to choose our enemies than we do to choose our friends? Sometimes we dwell upon the thought of our enemies that it turns into an obsession and then that obsession can also turn into love. Pretty crazy isn’t it? There are also different types of friends you can find. Those who are close, but not too close, those who only know you by what they see, and those who are literally like a sister/brother to you.
Why am I discussing this topic? My reason is that recently a lot of ‘old’ friends have started contacting me again. It’s strange, but sweet at the same time. A lot of them I stopped talking to after graduating from highschool and only saw them at random parties or around the city. All of them though have left a small impression in my life.
The friends I have now I care for very much. My bestfriend means a lot to me too, but during that process of friendship was a lot of confusion and pain going through my heart. I only have my faith to thank for seeing me through because I suddenly realised why she meant so much to me. You realise that someone means so much to you when your hearts are apart. You feel a sense of emptiness and longing to at least hear that person’s voice again. But time spent apart can also create a stronger bond between two people. How you may ask?
The abilities that we have are more than amazing. No we’re not X-men. We can do anything to keep in touch with the person we love. Sending letters, phone calls, e-mails, and diaries. Yet it’s amazing that sometimes the time apart brings two people closer together, it can even bring a group closer together. Real friendship though is when no matter how long the time apart is, it could even be years, you can still bump into each other and love each other as if the time apart never even existed. One thing I learnt from a friend of mine is that, some of the friendships I have are more than just words and seeing each other. It’s about trust, knowing that the person will continue to love you no matter how far they are, knowing that you’ve made that much of a impression in their life. Only the heart knows who your real friends are, and it will tell you when the time comes.
The same old jokes will make you laugh and reminicing about the past will make you cry. When you find a special person in your life you treasure them just like you treasured your very first toy. Friendship isn’t always easy to hold fast to because people are forever changing. Also sometimes we carelessly choose our friends. Have you noticed how we take more time to choose our enemies than we do to choose our friends? Sometimes we dwell upon the thought of our enemies that it turns into an obsession and then that obsession can also turn into love. Pretty crazy isn’t it? There are also different types of friends you can find. Those who are close, but not too close, those who only know you by what they see, and those who are literally like a sister/brother to you.
Why am I discussing this topic? My reason is that recently a lot of ‘old’ friends have started contacting me again. It’s strange, but sweet at the same time. A lot of them I stopped talking to after graduating from highschool and only saw them at random parties or around the city. All of them though have left a small impression in my life.
The friends I have now I care for very much. My bestfriend means a lot to me too, but during that process of friendship was a lot of confusion and pain going through my heart. I only have my faith to thank for seeing me through because I suddenly realised why she meant so much to me. You realise that someone means so much to you when your hearts are apart. You feel a sense of emptiness and longing to at least hear that person’s voice again. But time spent apart can also create a stronger bond between two people. How you may ask?
The abilities that we have are more than amazing. No we’re not X-men. We can do anything to keep in touch with the person we love. Sending letters, phone calls, e-mails, and diaries. Yet it’s amazing that sometimes the time apart brings two people closer together, it can even bring a group closer together. Real friendship though is when no matter how long the time apart is, it could even be years, you can still bump into each other and love each other as if the time apart never even existed. One thing I learnt from a friend of mine is that, some of the friendships I have are more than just words and seeing each other. It’s about trust, knowing that the person will continue to love you no matter how far they are, knowing that you’ve made that much of a impression in their life. Only the heart knows who your real friends are, and it will tell you when the time comes.
will you remember me?…
It’s scary when you realise you’ve forgotten someone who is meant to be or was once important to you. The one thing I fear is to be forgotten by a person who says they love me. It is true that time and distance is what holds people together and apart. My state of mind isn’t stable at the moment. I may seem calmed and relaxed on the outside, but that is only a mask to cover the thoughts raging in my mind. I humor myself sometimes with my thoughts too, I ask myself why I think so much.
Let’s look at the truth though, we have being blessed with this gift of thought, reasoning, and contemplating. There’s just some of us who don’t embrace this gift or there’s some of us who take it too seriously. Thinking too much can destroy a person. Dwelling on things and not letting things take their path, questioning situations, contemplating truths, it can destroy a person’s soul.
How do you avoid this pathway of thoughts to destruction? Trying to ignore them, trying to find distractions are only short term solutions. Instead confront what causes these questions, stop asking yourself the questions and ask someone else. Obviously you don’t know the answers, but maybe someone else does. If it’s a different type of question, like, why do certain things happen, let it take its course. Be an observer, things happen because they were meant to. I don’t know why or how, but things happen. Thinking doesn’t do anything, doing does something. You can’t change situations by thinking about it, you change situations by doing something about it. Even though I said be and observer, if you know you can do something about it then stop hesitating and confront it or make that difference. But be sure that your motivation is of good value because sometimes your actions can hurt or discourage other people along the way.
To be forgotten, or to forget. Which is the worse feeling to feel? Who is the one who is most hurt? I don’t know the answer to my question, but for now I sit patiently and wait to see its outcome. If I do crack it will be my own fault for not acting on my thoughts. Either way i’m prepared to wait, and i’m prepared to be hurt. Life was never meant to be perfect. People are not perfect, but at least some of us try to be by being honest with ourselves and with one another. You’d think that being afraid of heights is scary, i’m afraid of distance.
god bless & peace out
Let’s look at the truth though, we have being blessed with this gift of thought, reasoning, and contemplating. There’s just some of us who don’t embrace this gift or there’s some of us who take it too seriously. Thinking too much can destroy a person. Dwelling on things and not letting things take their path, questioning situations, contemplating truths, it can destroy a person’s soul.
How do you avoid this pathway of thoughts to destruction? Trying to ignore them, trying to find distractions are only short term solutions. Instead confront what causes these questions, stop asking yourself the questions and ask someone else. Obviously you don’t know the answers, but maybe someone else does. If it’s a different type of question, like, why do certain things happen, let it take its course. Be an observer, things happen because they were meant to. I don’t know why or how, but things happen. Thinking doesn’t do anything, doing does something. You can’t change situations by thinking about it, you change situations by doing something about it. Even though I said be and observer, if you know you can do something about it then stop hesitating and confront it or make that difference. But be sure that your motivation is of good value because sometimes your actions can hurt or discourage other people along the way.
To be forgotten, or to forget. Which is the worse feeling to feel? Who is the one who is most hurt? I don’t know the answer to my question, but for now I sit patiently and wait to see its outcome. If I do crack it will be my own fault for not acting on my thoughts. Either way i’m prepared to wait, and i’m prepared to be hurt. Life was never meant to be perfect. People are not perfect, but at least some of us try to be by being honest with ourselves and with one another. You’d think that being afraid of heights is scary, i’m afraid of distance.
god bless & peace out
The line between lovers and friends…
What makes friends friends and what makes lovers lovers? When does a friend suddenly turn into something more intimate and why? To be honest I have no bloody clue. The human mind is so complex we still can’t figure it out. At least we know why the sky is blue. Let me make this clear before you keep reading, when I say ‘lovers’ I am not referring to the short-term sex-without-feelings (I hate that term) friend, better known as the F.B., i refer to actual relationships which consist of understood feelings.
We each hold friendship as one of the most important things in our lives. The only thing we pray not to happen is to fall in love with our friends. Why? Maybe we’re afraid that if something were to happen the whole world would fall apart. Okay maybe that’s a bit too dramatic. Like I always say, I can’t give the right answers, nor can I give the wrong answers.
I have a friend. He used to be my boyfriend. We jumped into a relationship without knowing each other properly. Look at your friend, are they really showing you their true colours? When I started going out with him, his true colours shone. It hurt, but because I actually did love him (I was sure with myself that I did, but it was more like puppy love) I lived with it. I’m the commited kind of freak who accepts people the way they are. Then that all ended. Problem, we decided, well he decided, that I be his bestfriend. I don’t know what ran through his mind, but I didn’t like it. We just knew each other too much. It hurt to be honest with him because he only wanted to hear the things he wanted me to say. Even though he says i’m just a bestfriend, he doesn’t act that way around me. We’ve had a million fights “as friends,” but I felt trapped. Everything I said and did had to go by him first. The truth is though, I don’t like being “owned” and I don’t like people prying into every corner of my life. If you ask with good reason then yes maybe, but usually I take the initiative to open up. I speak in my own time. Holding my hand while he’s chasing another girl is inappropriate to me because i’m the most ‘penguinistic’ (monogomous) person on earth, in my own mind. I went through accusations of selfishness, vanity, rudeness, and most of all, bitchiness. It hurt, but I pretended that it was all a joke. Thank you for his honesty, but word of discouragement isn’t what’s meant for a close friendship. Yes, be brutally honest, but don’t accuse as if they’ve commited the worse crime on earth and can’t be granted forgiveness. I was put through guilt trip, after guilt trip. The funny thing is, he was the only one complaining. In the end he just wanted me to be something i’m not. Today i’m still his bestfriend. He’s my close friend, whom I don’t have to, or need to, tell everything. He doesn’t own me. *vent* He’s like a 5 year old!
I digress. A real friend, shows every good and bad side of them. A friend takes risks to be there for you. They promise to always be there for you, but also are honest that they will at least try, because in reality a person can’t always be there. They accept you for who you are, but give you advice and correct you. They are a word of encouragement. When they’re angry with you they don’t keep silent, they tell you how they really feel instead of wearing a fake smile. A friend will listen to you, but you must too in turn. Nothing in friendships, in any relationship should be one-way, like the saying goes, ‘It takes two to tango.’
When you fall in love with a friend, it’s usually because all you ever see is the “saint” side. Sometimes though it can be different. You just love them for their whole being. So you’re left confused wondering what’s the next step. My 101. 1) Be honest with yourself, 2) Be honest with them, 3)Get to know each other a little more, 4) Don’t rush. Yes, a lot of us when we jump into relationships, we’re swept off our feet into the tidal wave of love. Sometimes we move so fast things end quicker. Take it step by step, and eventually it may be something that lasts. Maybe you might grow old together. 5) Brush your teeth, okay I pulled that out from stupidity.
But who ever said that one of your closest friends should become your lover? Who ever said that you have to marry them because you both click well? Nobody. The only thing that will tell is time and also listening to not only your heart, but your mind. If two are in conflict, then kill one or the other. Okay I take that back. If you are torn between the two then the answer is, NO. When the heart chooses something, the mind must agree too. Otherwise when you jump into the relationship there will be doubt. Doubt should never be in any relationship. Do not doubt the friendship of your bestfriend, do not doubt the love of your boy/girlfriend. If you do, ask! Don’t be chicken and pretend everything is okay. It only makes the doubt worse. Everybody says this, ‘communication is the best key to a succesful relationship,’ in actual fact, any relationship, be it friendship, family, professional, etc. When you love someone you love them whole heartedly.Sometimes a great friendship is better than a serious relationship. Check yourself first before jumping to conclusions.
We each have our own views. This is mine, what is yours?
God Bless & Peace Out
We each hold friendship as one of the most important things in our lives. The only thing we pray not to happen is to fall in love with our friends. Why? Maybe we’re afraid that if something were to happen the whole world would fall apart. Okay maybe that’s a bit too dramatic. Like I always say, I can’t give the right answers, nor can I give the wrong answers.
I have a friend. He used to be my boyfriend. We jumped into a relationship without knowing each other properly. Look at your friend, are they really showing you their true colours? When I started going out with him, his true colours shone. It hurt, but because I actually did love him (I was sure with myself that I did, but it was more like puppy love) I lived with it. I’m the commited kind of freak who accepts people the way they are. Then that all ended. Problem, we decided, well he decided, that I be his bestfriend. I don’t know what ran through his mind, but I didn’t like it. We just knew each other too much. It hurt to be honest with him because he only wanted to hear the things he wanted me to say. Even though he says i’m just a bestfriend, he doesn’t act that way around me. We’ve had a million fights “as friends,” but I felt trapped. Everything I said and did had to go by him first. The truth is though, I don’t like being “owned” and I don’t like people prying into every corner of my life. If you ask with good reason then yes maybe, but usually I take the initiative to open up. I speak in my own time. Holding my hand while he’s chasing another girl is inappropriate to me because i’m the most ‘penguinistic’ (monogomous) person on earth, in my own mind. I went through accusations of selfishness, vanity, rudeness, and most of all, bitchiness. It hurt, but I pretended that it was all a joke. Thank you for his honesty, but word of discouragement isn’t what’s meant for a close friendship. Yes, be brutally honest, but don’t accuse as if they’ve commited the worse crime on earth and can’t be granted forgiveness. I was put through guilt trip, after guilt trip. The funny thing is, he was the only one complaining. In the end he just wanted me to be something i’m not. Today i’m still his bestfriend. He’s my close friend, whom I don’t have to, or need to, tell everything. He doesn’t own me. *vent* He’s like a 5 year old!
I digress. A real friend, shows every good and bad side of them. A friend takes risks to be there for you. They promise to always be there for you, but also are honest that they will at least try, because in reality a person can’t always be there. They accept you for who you are, but give you advice and correct you. They are a word of encouragement. When they’re angry with you they don’t keep silent, they tell you how they really feel instead of wearing a fake smile. A friend will listen to you, but you must too in turn. Nothing in friendships, in any relationship should be one-way, like the saying goes, ‘It takes two to tango.’
When you fall in love with a friend, it’s usually because all you ever see is the “saint” side. Sometimes though it can be different. You just love them for their whole being. So you’re left confused wondering what’s the next step. My 101. 1) Be honest with yourself, 2) Be honest with them, 3)Get to know each other a little more, 4) Don’t rush. Yes, a lot of us when we jump into relationships, we’re swept off our feet into the tidal wave of love. Sometimes we move so fast things end quicker. Take it step by step, and eventually it may be something that lasts. Maybe you might grow old together. 5) Brush your teeth, okay I pulled that out from stupidity.
But who ever said that one of your closest friends should become your lover? Who ever said that you have to marry them because you both click well? Nobody. The only thing that will tell is time and also listening to not only your heart, but your mind. If two are in conflict, then kill one or the other. Okay I take that back. If you are torn between the two then the answer is, NO. When the heart chooses something, the mind must agree too. Otherwise when you jump into the relationship there will be doubt. Doubt should never be in any relationship. Do not doubt the friendship of your bestfriend, do not doubt the love of your boy/girlfriend. If you do, ask! Don’t be chicken and pretend everything is okay. It only makes the doubt worse. Everybody says this, ‘communication is the best key to a succesful relationship,’ in actual fact, any relationship, be it friendship, family, professional, etc. When you love someone you love them whole heartedly.Sometimes a great friendship is better than a serious relationship. Check yourself first before jumping to conclusions.
We each have our own views. This is mine, what is yours?
God Bless & Peace Out
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Never Leave FRIEND for something
==========================================
If luck is a raindrop,I will send u a shower.
If hope is a minute,I ll send you an hour.
If happiness is a leaf, I ll give you a tree.
If u need a friend, u already have me
==========================================
FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE..
Take first letter from each word of the above said statement &
then u will get that unique word…
FRIEND :=)
==========================================
Walk with me when ur hearts needs company,
take my hand when u feel all alone,
turn to me when u need some1 to lean on,
coz I’m a friend u can always depend on
==========================================
Fragnance can be defined without Rose.
But, friendship can’t be defined without YOU.
==========================================
Friend is one,
who (F)inds you in a (R)ush of people,
(I)nspires you to do something in life,
catch your (E)motions and (N)ever leaves you till (D)eath.
==========================================
Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day.
Its a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.
==========================================
Friendship never speaks volumes,
it never demands proof,
it never has a happy ending too simply coz
it doesn’t end as long as friends r true, just like U!
==========================================
If ur friendship be money,
I’ll be richest man.
If ur friendship be pounds,
I’ll be heaviest man.
If ur friendship be luv,
I’ll be luckiest man.
But ur friendship is trust & I’m the happiest man
==========================================
If luck is a raindrop,I will send u a shower.
If hope is a minute,I ll send you an hour.
If happiness is a leaf, I ll give you a tree.
If u need a friend, u already have me
==========================================
Leave SOMETHING for friend..
Never Leave FRIEND for something.. coz in life,
SOMETHINGS will leave u but FRIENDS will always live with u..
If luck is a raindrop,I will send u a shower.
If hope is a minute,I ll send you an hour.
If happiness is a leaf, I ll give you a tree.
If u need a friend, u already have me
==========================================
FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE..
Take first letter from each word of the above said statement &
then u will get that unique word…
FRIEND :=)
==========================================
Walk with me when ur hearts needs company,
take my hand when u feel all alone,
turn to me when u need some1 to lean on,
coz I’m a friend u can always depend on
==========================================
Fragnance can be defined without Rose.
But, friendship can’t be defined without YOU.
==========================================
Friend is one,
who (F)inds you in a (R)ush of people,
(I)nspires you to do something in life,
catch your (E)motions and (N)ever leaves you till (D)eath.
==========================================
Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day.
Its a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.
==========================================
Friendship never speaks volumes,
it never demands proof,
it never has a happy ending too simply coz
it doesn’t end as long as friends r true, just like U!
==========================================
If ur friendship be money,
I’ll be richest man.
If ur friendship be pounds,
I’ll be heaviest man.
If ur friendship be luv,
I’ll be luckiest man.
But ur friendship is trust & I’m the happiest man
==========================================
If luck is a raindrop,I will send u a shower.
If hope is a minute,I ll send you an hour.
If happiness is a leaf, I ll give you a tree.
If u need a friend, u already have me
==========================================
Leave SOMETHING for friend..
Never Leave FRIEND for something.. coz in life,
SOMETHINGS will leave u but FRIENDS will always live with u..
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Thoughts On Life
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
A Simple Friend!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball cards so that your room would be a "high schooler's" room, but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went with you to that "cool" party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
gave you rides in their new car,
convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded,
consoled you when you broke up with your significant other
and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
helped you pick out a college,
assured you that you would get into that college,
helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go.
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
Helped you clean up from that party.
Helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents.
Assured you that now that your significant other were back together, you could make it through anything.
Helped you pack up for college and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind.
And finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to come over and send you off with a hug, a lot of memories and reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years.
But most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who
Gives you the better of the two choices.
Holds your hand when you're scared.
Helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you.
Thinks of you at times when you are not there.
Reminds you of what you have forgotten.
Helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer.
Stays with you so that you have confidence.
Goes out of their way to make time for you.
Helps you clear up your mistakes.
Helps you deal with pressure from others.
Smiles for you when they are sad.
Helps you become a better person.
However most importantly loves you!
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball cards so that your room would be a "high schooler's" room, but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went with you to that "cool" party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
gave you rides in their new car,
convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded,
consoled you when you broke up with your significant other
and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
helped you pick out a college,
assured you that you would get into that college,
helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go.
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who
Helped you clean up from that party.
Helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents.
Assured you that now that your significant other were back together, you could make it through anything.
Helped you pack up for college and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind.
And finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to come over and send you off with a hug, a lot of memories and reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years.
But most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who
Gives you the better of the two choices.
Holds your hand when you're scared.
Helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you.
Thinks of you at times when you are not there.
Reminds you of what you have forgotten.
Helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer.
Stays with you so that you have confidence.
Goes out of their way to make time for you.
Helps you clear up your mistakes.
Helps you deal with pressure from others.
Smiles for you when they are sad.
Helps you become a better person.
However most importantly loves you!
Friendship
Which brings me to my topic for this week. I'd love some of your feedback on friendship.
My idea of friendship is that it reflects I Corinthians 13. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut. Doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others. Isn't always me first, doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, Always looks for the best, never looks back but keeps going to the end.
I'm not talking about acquaintance kind of friendship, but the intimate kind, the lifetime kind, the kind that you say to each other," we'll be friends for life" and then you mean it. No matter what comes to try and divide you-you recognize the one who sows discord and you say no way. There are those who will come and go in our lives, but there are those who will be there or should be there always. Jesus had the 3 that He spent the most time with, then the 12, then the 70, then the masses, but He didn't develop the same intimacy with the crowd as He did the 12. In the end they all wound up abandoning Him, or denying Him- yet He came back and restored them to their previous state of friendship. He gave Peter opportunity to become the mighty man of God- the Rock he was called to be. He gave Thomas the opportunity to become the man of faith he was supposed to be, he gave them all the benefit of His forgiveness, His love and His friendship.
What do we give one another? Are you a lifelong friend? Are you willing to lay down your pride and restore friendship? Or do you let them go? Knowing that God even called you to them? And at what price are we sacrificing friendships? Do we continue on in the call of God and ministry to others when things go askew? Or do we withdraw and put up those awful walls? Do we become angry and bitter people or do we obey the Word of God and do all that is in our power to reconcile?
That line, love believes the best is so powerful! The Bible says, he who tells a matter first seems to be right. When someone comes to you with some stuff about a friend, we have a choice at that moment to listen or to be the friend we should be. The problem is, we don't think another brother would lie to us, so we listen and then those terrible seeds of discord are sown (which God hates by the way). I recognize when people have faults, but don't you be the one to tell me. SMILE I'll find out what I need to know and I will love them anyway and restore them when I need to. I trust the Lord that He knows what I need to know, I have His mind. And He has been faithful to us always, just ask one of our kids.
Ask God why that person is acting that way, what is wrong in their heart and then pray for them. If your motives are right, He will let you know that something has happened, or you will ask them and they will tell you, and you have saved a relationship that the enemy was trying to destroy. Friends know each other's stuff, love you in spite of it, can have a year or two apart and come back together and be good friends again, can forgive, can forget, can talk about anything and don't judge each other for wrong attitudes and ideas, in other words, we love because He first loved us.
IF there is anything that we can learn at this time it is that there is nothing that should be able to separate us from each other, because we are in Christ and who can separate us from His love? By our love they will know we are His disciples.
My idea of friendship is that it reflects I Corinthians 13. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut. Doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others. Isn't always me first, doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, Always looks for the best, never looks back but keeps going to the end.
I'm not talking about acquaintance kind of friendship, but the intimate kind, the lifetime kind, the kind that you say to each other," we'll be friends for life" and then you mean it. No matter what comes to try and divide you-you recognize the one who sows discord and you say no way. There are those who will come and go in our lives, but there are those who will be there or should be there always. Jesus had the 3 that He spent the most time with, then the 12, then the 70, then the masses, but He didn't develop the same intimacy with the crowd as He did the 12. In the end they all wound up abandoning Him, or denying Him- yet He came back and restored them to their previous state of friendship. He gave Peter opportunity to become the mighty man of God- the Rock he was called to be. He gave Thomas the opportunity to become the man of faith he was supposed to be, he gave them all the benefit of His forgiveness, His love and His friendship.
What do we give one another? Are you a lifelong friend? Are you willing to lay down your pride and restore friendship? Or do you let them go? Knowing that God even called you to them? And at what price are we sacrificing friendships? Do we continue on in the call of God and ministry to others when things go askew? Or do we withdraw and put up those awful walls? Do we become angry and bitter people or do we obey the Word of God and do all that is in our power to reconcile?
That line, love believes the best is so powerful! The Bible says, he who tells a matter first seems to be right. When someone comes to you with some stuff about a friend, we have a choice at that moment to listen or to be the friend we should be. The problem is, we don't think another brother would lie to us, so we listen and then those terrible seeds of discord are sown (which God hates by the way). I recognize when people have faults, but don't you be the one to tell me. SMILE I'll find out what I need to know and I will love them anyway and restore them when I need to. I trust the Lord that He knows what I need to know, I have His mind. And He has been faithful to us always, just ask one of our kids.
Ask God why that person is acting that way, what is wrong in their heart and then pray for them. If your motives are right, He will let you know that something has happened, or you will ask them and they will tell you, and you have saved a relationship that the enemy was trying to destroy. Friends know each other's stuff, love you in spite of it, can have a year or two apart and come back together and be good friends again, can forgive, can forget, can talk about anything and don't judge each other for wrong attitudes and ideas, in other words, we love because He first loved us.
IF there is anything that we can learn at this time it is that there is nothing that should be able to separate us from each other, because we are in Christ and who can separate us from His love? By our love they will know we are His disciples.
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