One day when u feel like crying....
call me. ! . ! . !
I dont promise that I will make u laugh,
but I can cry with u. If one day u want to
run away dont be afraid to call me.
I dont promise to ask u to stop......
but I can run with u.
If one day u dont want to listen to anyone.....call me.
I promise to be there for u
but also promise to remain quiet.
But one day if u call......
and there is no answer.....
come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.

____0000000000______0000000000_____
__000________000__000________000___
_000___________0000___________000__
000_____________00_____________000_
000____________________________000_
000___________THANKS___________000_
_000____________FOR___________000__
__000__________BEING_________000___
___000__________MY_________000_____
_____000______FRIEND______000______
_______000______________000________
_________000__________000__________
____________000____000_____________
______________000000_______________
________________00_________________
________________ 0 ________________

Good Friend

I thought you were my friend
That you would always be there
But now you’ve gone and left me
For some other friend somewhere
We had so many secrets
Some that nobody else knew
But now that you have left me
You’ve left those secrets too
Why did you find a new friend
I thought that I was your best
Now it feels like all my heart
Has died and gone to rest
I hope you have new memories
To share with your new friend
I just really want to know
Why our friendship came to an end
I guess now I’m finished
I’m done asking 'why'
But if this friendship is really over
Then why does it hurt to say goodbye?

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it , live it and never give it back.

I Can't....

I can't promise I'll always be by your side
To give you a hug
But I will always be on the other side of a phone
I can't promise everything will be alright
Because sometimes I just don't know
But I will always do my best to make everything ok

I can't promise I can stop your tears
When they're falling so hard you could drown in them
But I can cry with you

I can't promise I can catch you
When you're falling so fast you're just a blur
But I can fall with you, and hold your hand when we crash

I can't promise I can help you out of your hole
Because the truth is I'm right down there with you
But I can try and ease your pain

I can't promise I can stop the voices
Because I can't even control them myself
But I can understand

I can't promise I can make you better
When you feel like you're not strong enough to go on
But I can be strong for you

I can't promise to give you a reason to live
When you feel like you can't take anymore
But if you let me, I can hold you as you slip into an eternal sleep

And I can't promise
That things will be ok soon
But I can promise that I love you

Now,
Forever,
And always.

A Friend

A friend is something special, it cannot be defined
To become as close as sisters, that’s very hard to find
I consider myself lucky since I found all this in you
Without you in my life, who knows what I may do

Throughout our years of friendship, you’ve always stuck by my side
Holding me in your arms as I just sat and cried
Through all the ups and downs,
From my smiles to my frowns
To see your face everyday
There is no price I wouldn’t pay

I know that no matter what happens we’ll be together until the end
Only for the very reason that you are my very best friend
And as we grow older we may go our separate ways,
But until the day I’m 99 I’ll think of you always

If ever we get into a fight and end things once and for all
Know that I’m by the phone just waiting for your call
As our days together shorten and our laughter comes to an end
Please do know this one thing, my very special friend

If there were something that you need, anything at all
Please pick up the phone and dial…never be afraid to call
I owe you so many things, though you may never know
Whenever I am with you, my face begins to glow

If there were something I could give you, this is what it would be
To be as good a friend to you as you have been to me
You are such a rare jewel that is so hard to find
Absolutely amazing…one of a kind

There are a mere ten words I must say before I am through
You are my best friend, thanks, and I love you.

*My BeSt FrIeNdS*

Sometimes you feel like you cant live without them,
Or sometimes, with them.
You can talk to them about everything and anything
Even if it's about your crush and they really dont wanna hear anymore,
About how cute so-and-so is
But they would never tell you to shut up (to an extent).
They care about you, do anything for you.
When you're excited,
They're excited.
When you're happy,
They're smiling right along with you.
When you're upset
They come prepared with a tissue box,
And chocolate,
Lots and lots of chocolate.
A best friend is someone you can rely on to tell you the truth,
Even if its the last thing you want to hear.
They are the only ones who can cheer you up
When you thought you thought you could never laugh again.
They can be goofy with you
no matter how weird the two of you may look.
They know what you are thinking and how you feel,
Even if you dont say a single word.
This person is like your other half
And it's these people who you shoud hold on to.

Who you should treasure with all of your heart.
Because they make life worth living.

The Friendship

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly.

"What's that?" came the Pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the Pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean overand say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance! 'So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?'" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork ..the best is yet to come."

The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the cloak she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the Pastor told the people of the conversation hehad with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.

So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to opentheirhearts to us.Show your friends how much you care. Remember to always be there for them, even when you need them more. For you never know when it may be their time to "Keep your fork." Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ... being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND even if it means sending back to the person who sent it to you. And keep your fork.

Friend, Best Friend

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents by their first names.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz they can't remember it!)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you…

A Special freind

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times an dthe confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

The Best Friendship

When we first talked to each other
I knew we would always be friends.
Our friendship has kept on growing
And I'll be here for you to the end.

You listen when I have a problem
And help dry the tears from my face.
You take away my sorrow
And put happiness in its place.

We can't forget the fun we've had
Laughing 'til our faces turn blue.
Talking of things only we find funny
People think we're insane-If they only knew!

I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall.
Thanks once again for being such a good friend
And being here with me through it all.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.
It's the times we're so crazy,
that people think we're high.
It's the times we laugh so hard,
we can't help but cry.
It's all the inside jokes
and "remember whens".
those are all the reasons
that we're best friends!
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
In Kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who counted the slowest for you when it was your turn at the water fountain.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-doing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that is they said "no" you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the Social Studies homework from the night before that you had.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball stuff, but didn't laugh when you finished and burst into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would still have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, counseled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get in, and helped you deal with your parents who where having a hard time adjusting to letting you go.

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside, but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you on all you had achieved.

The summer after graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now you and Nick or Susan were back together you could make it through anything. Helped you pack up for college and just silently hugged you as you looked through misty eyes back at 18 years of memories you where going to leave behind. Finally, on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had the past 18 years, and most importantly, sent you off knowing you were loved.

Now your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you’re scared, helps you fight off those who try to bring you down, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understand when you need to hold onto it for just a bit longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, and most of all, lets you know that you will always be loved.
Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.
There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

Cancer

The Uterus
The uterus is part of a woman's reproductive system. It is the hollow, pear-shaped organ where a baby grows. The uterus is in the pelvis between the bladder and the rectum.
The narrow, lower portion of the uterus is the cervix. The broad, middle part of the uterus is the body, or corpus. The dome-shaped top of the uterus is the fundus. The fallopian tubes extend from either side of the top of the uterus to the ovaries.

The wall of the uterus has two layers of tissue. The inner layer, or lining, is the endometrium. The outer layer is muscle tissue called the myometrium.
In women of childbearing age, the lining of the uterus grows and thickens each month to prepare for pregnancy. If a woman does not become pregnant, the thick, bloody lining flows out of the body through the vagina. This flow is called menstruation.

Understanding Cancer
Cancer is a group of many related diseases. All cancers begin in cells, the body's basic unit of life. Cells make up tissues, and tissues make up the organs of the body.
Normally, cells grow and divide to form new cells as the body needs them. When cells grow old and die, new cells take their place.
Sometimes this orderly process goes wrong. New cells form when the body does not need them, and old cells do not die when they should. These extra cells can form a mass of tissue called a growth or tumor.
Tumors can be benign or malignant:
Benign tumors are not cancer. Usually, doctors can remove them. Cells from benign tumors do not spread to other parts of the body. In most cases, benign tumors do not come back after they are removed. Most important, benign tumors are rarely a threat to life.
Benign Conditions of the Uterus
Fibroids are common benign tumors that grow in the muscle of the uterus. They occur mainly in women in their forties. Women may have many fibroids at the same time. Fibroids do not develop into cancer. As a woman reaches menopause, fibroids are likely to become smaller, and sometimes they disappear.
Usually, fibroids cause no symptoms and need no treatment. But depending on their size and location, fibroids can cause bleeding, vaginal discharge, and frequent urination. Women with these symptoms should see a doctor. If fibroids cause heavy bleeding, or if they press against nearby organs and cause pain, the doctor may suggest surgery or other treatment.
Endometriosis is another benign condition that affects the uterus. It is most common in women in their thirties and forties, especially in women who have never been pregnant. It occurs when endometrial tissue begins to grow on the outside of the uterus and on nearby organs. This condition may cause painful menstrual periods, abnormal vaginal bleeding, and sometimes loss of fertility (ability to get pregnant), but it does not cause cancer. Women with endometriosis may be treated with hormones or surgery.
Endometrial hyperplasia is an increase in the number of cells in the lining of the uterus. It is not cancer. Sometimes it develops into cancer. Heavy menstrual periods, bleeding between periods, and bleeding after menopause are common symptoms of hyperplasia. It is most common after age 40.
To prevent endometrial hyperplasia from developing into cancer, the doctor may recommend surgery to remove the uterus (hysterectomy) or treatment with hormones (progesterone) and regular followup exams.
Malignant tumors are cancer. They are generally more serious and may be life threatening. Cancer cells can invade and damage nearby tissues and organs. Also, cancer cells can break away from a malignant tumor and enter the bloodstream or lymphatic system. That is how cancer cells spread from the original (primary) tumor to form new tumors in other organs. The spread of cancer is called metastasis.
When uterine cancer spreads (metastasizes) outside the uterus, cancer cells are often found in nearby lymph nodes, nerves, or blood vessels. If the cancer has reached the lymph nodes, cancer cells may have spread to other lymph nodes and other organs, such as the lungs, liver, and bones.
When cancer spreads from its original place to another part of the body, the new tumor has the same kind of abnormal cells and the same name as the primary tumor. For example, if cancer of the uterus spreads to the lungs, the cancer cells in the lungs are actually uterine cancer cells. The disease is metastatic uterine cancer, not lung cancer. It is treated as uterine cancer, not lung cancer. Doctors sometimes call the new tumor "distant" disease.
The most common type of cancer of the uterus begins in the lining (endometrium). It is called endometrial cancer, uterine cancer, or cancer of the uterus. In this booklet, we will use the terms uterine cancer or cancer of the uterus to refer to cancer that begins in the endometrium.
A different type of cancer, uterine sarcoma, develops in the muscle (myometrium). Cancer that begins in the cervix is also a different type of cancer.

Uterine Cancer: Who's at Risk
No one knows the exact causes of uterine cancer. However, it is clear that this disease is not contagious. No one can "catch" cancer from another person.
Women who get this disease are more likely than other women to have certain risk factors. They are:
Age. Cancer of the uterus occurs mostly in women over age 50.
Endometrial hyperplasia. The risk of uterine cancer is higher if a woman has endometrial hyperplasia. This condition and its treatment are described above.
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT). HRT is used to control the symptoms of menopause, to prevent osteoporosis (thinning of the bones), and to reduce the risk of heart disease or stroke.
Obesity and related conditions. The body makes some of its estrogen in fatty tissue. That's why obese women are more likely than thin women to have higher levels of estrogen in their bodies. High levels of estrogen may be the reason that obese women have an increased risk of developing uterine cancer. The risk of this disease is also higher in women with diabetes or high blood pressure (conditions that occur in many obese women).
Tamoxifen. Women taking the drug tamoxifen to prevent or treat breast cancer have an increased risk of uterine cancer. This risk appears to be related to the estrogen-like effect of this drug on the uterus.
Race. White women are more likely than African-American women to get uterine cancer.
Colorectal cancer. Women who have had an inherited form of colorectal cancer have a higher risk of developing uterine cancer than other women.
Other risk factors are related to how long a woman's body is exposed to estrogen. Women who have no children, begin menstruation at a very young age, or enter menopause late in life are exposed to estrogen longer and have a higher risk.
Women with known risk factors and those who are concerned about uterine cancer should ask their doctor about the symptoms to watch for and how often to have checkups. The doctor's advice will be based on the woman's age, medical history, and other factors.

Recognizing Symptoms
Uterine cancer usually occurs after menopause. But it may also occur around the time that menopause begins. Abnormal vaginal bleeding is the most common symptom of uterine cancer. Bleeding may start as a watery, blood-streaked flow that gradually contains more blood. Women should not assume that abnormal vaginal bleeding is part of menopause.
A woman should see her doctor if she has any of the following symptoms:
Unusual vaginal bleeding or discharge
Difficult or painful urination
Pain during intercourse
Pain in the pelvic area
These symptoms can be caused by cancer or other less serious conditions. Most often they are not cancer, but only a doctor can tell for sure.

Diagnosis
If a woman has symptoms that suggest uterine cancer, her doctor may check general signs of health and may order blood and urine tests. The doctor also may perform one or more of the exams or tests described on the next pages.
Pelvic exam -- A woman has a pelvic exam to check the vagina, uterus, bladder, and rectum. The doctor feels these organs for any lumps or changes in their shape or size. To see the upper part of the vagina and the cervix, the doctor inserts an instrument called a speculum into the vagina.
Pap test -- The doctor collects cells from the cervix and upper vagina. A medical laboratory checks for abnormal cells. Although the Pap test can detect cancer of the cervix, cells from inside the uterus usually do not show up on a Pap test. This is why the doctor collects samples of cells from inside the uterus in a procedure called a biopsy.
Transvaginal ultrasound -- The doctor inserts an instrument into the vagina. The instrument aims high-frequency sound waves at the uterus. The pattern of the echoes they produce creates a picture. If the endometrium looks too thick, the doctor can do a biopsy.
Biopsy -- The doctor removes a sample of tissue from the uterine lining. This usually can be done in the doctor's office. In some cases, however, a woman may need to have a dilation and curettage (D&C). A D&C is usually done as same-day surgery with anesthesia in a hospital. A pathologist examines the tissue to check for cancer cells, hyperplasia, and other conditions. For a short time after the biopsy, some women have cramps and vaginal bleeding.

Staging
If uterine cancer is diagnosed, the doctor needs to know the stage, or extent, of the disease to plan the best treatment. Staging is a careful attempt to find out whether the cancer has spread, and if so, to what parts of the body.
The doctor may order blood and urine tests and chest x-rays. The woman also may have other x-rays, CT scans, an ultrasound test, magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), sigmoidoscopy, or colonoscopy.
In most cases, the most reliable way to stage this disease is to remove the uterus (hysterectomy). (The description of surgery in the "Methods of Treatment" section has more information.) After the uterus has been removed, the surgeon can look for obvious signs that the cancer has invaded the muscle of the uterus. The surgeon also can check the lymph nodes and other organs in the pelvic area for signs of cancer. A pathologist uses a microscope to examine the uterus and other tissues removed by the surgeon.
These are the main features of each stage of the disease:
Stage I -- The cancer is only in the body of the uterus. It is not in the cervix.
Stage II -- The cancer has spread from the body of the uterus to the cervix.
Stage III -- The cancer has spread outside the uterus, but not outside the pelvis (and not to the bladder or rectum). Lymph nodes in the pelvis may contain cancer cells.
Stage IV -- The cancer has spread into the bladder or rectum. Or it has spread beyond the pelvis to other body parts.

Treatment for Uterine Cancer
Women with uterine cancer have many treatment options. Most women with uterine cancer are treated with surgery. Some have radiation therapy. A smaller number of women may be treated with hormonal therapy. Some patients receive a combination of therapies.
Most women with uterine cancer have surgery to remove the uterus (hysterectomy) through an incision in the abdomen. The doctor also removes both fallopian tubes and both ovaries. (This procedure is called a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy.)
The doctor may also remove the lymph nodes near the tumor to see if they contain cancer. If cancer cells have reached the lymph nodes, it may mean that the disease has spread to other parts of the body. The length of the hospital stay may vary from several days to a week.
In radiation therapy, high-energy rays are used to kill cancer cells. Like surgery, radiation therapy is a local therapy. It affects cancer cells only in the treated area.
Some women with Stage I, II, or III uterine cancer need both radiation therapy and surgery. They may have radiation before surgery to shrink the tumor or after surgery to destroy any cancer cells that remain in the area. Also, the doctor may suggest radiation treatments for the small number of women who cannot have surgery.
Doctors use two types of radiation therapy to treat uterine cancer:
External radiation: In external radiation therapy, a large machine outside the body is used to aim radiation at the tumor area. The woman is usually an outpatient in a hospital or clinic and receives external radiation 5 days a week for several weeks. This schedule helps protect healthy cells and tissue by spreading out the total dose of radiation. No radioactive materials are put into the body for external radiation therapy.
Internal radiation: In internal radiation therapy, tiny tubes containing a radioactive substance are inserted through the vagina and left in place for a few days. The woman stays in the hospital during this treatment. To protect others from radiation exposure, the patient may not be able to have visitors or may have visitors only for a short period of time while the implant is in place. Once the implant is removed, the woman has no radioactivity in her body.
Some patients need both external and internal radiation therapies.
Hormonal therapy involves substances that prevent cancer cells from getting or using the hormones they may need to grow. Hormones can attach to hormone receptors, causing changes in uterine tissue. Before therapy begins, the doctor may request a hormone receptor test. This special lab test of uterine tissue helps the doctor learn if estrogen and progesterone receptors are present. If the tissue has receptors, the woman is more likely to respond to hormonal therapy.
Hormonal therapy is called a systemic therapy because it can affect cancer cells throughout the body. Usually, hormonal therapy is a type of progesterone taken as a pill.
The doctor may use hormonal therapy for women with uterine cancer who are unable to have surgery or radiation therapy. Also, the doctor may give hormonal therapy to women with uterine cancer that has spread to the lungs or other distant sites. It is also given to women with uterine cancer that has come back.

Side Effects of Cancer Treatment
Because cancer treatment may damage healthy cells and tissues, unwanted side effects sometimes occur. These side effects depend on many factors, including the type and extent of the treatment. Side effects may not be the same for each person, and they may even change from one treatment session to the next. Before treatment starts, doctors and nurses will explain the possible side effects and how they will help you manage them.
Surgery
After a hysterectomy, women usually have some pain and feel extremely tired. Most women return to their normal activities within 4 to 8 weeks after surgery. Some may need more time than that.
Some women may have problems with nausea and vomiting after surgery, and some may have bladder and bowel problems. The doctor may restrict the woman's diet to liquids at first, with a gradual return to solid food.
Women who have had a hysterectomy no longer have menstrual periods and can no longer get pregnant. When the ovaries are removed, menopause occurs at once. Hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause caused by surgery may be more severe than those caused by natural menopause. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is often given to women who have not had uterine cancer to relieve these problems. However, doctors usually do not give the hormone estrogen to women who have had uterine cancer. Because estrogen is a risk factor for this disease (see "Uterine Cancer: Who's at Risk?"), many doctors are concerned that estrogen may cause uterine cancer to return. Other doctors point out that there is no scientific evidence that estrogen increases the risk that cancer will come back. NCI is sponsoring a large research study to learn whether women who have had early stage uterine cancer can take estrogen safely.
For some women, a hysterectomy can affect sexual intimacy. A woman may have feelings of loss that may make intimacy difficult. Sharing these feelings with her partner may be helpful.
Radiation Therapy
The side effects of radiation therapy depend mainly on the treatment dose and the part of the body that is treated. Common side effects of radiation include dry, reddened skin and hair loss in the treated area, loss of appetite, and extreme tiredness. Some women may have dryness, itching, tightening, and burning in the vagina. Radiation also may cause diarrhea or frequent and uncomfortable urination. It may reduce the number of white blood cells, which help protect the body against infection.
Doctors may advise their patients not to have intercourse during radiation therapy. However, most can resume sexual activity within a few weeks after treatment ends. The doctor or nurse may suggest ways to relieve any vaginal discomfort related to treatment.
Hormonal Therapy
Hormonal therapy can cause a number of side effects. Women taking progesterone may retain fluid, have an increased appetite, and gain weight. Women who are still menstruating may have changes in their periods.

READ PLZ...

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. I hope it works for you -- and me!

Lotus Touts: You have 6 minutes

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so far.

Do not keep this message.

The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

A FRIEND

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.



Friends


Anger is only one letter short of danger
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others
You can’t live long enough to make them all
yourself.

Friends, you and me…
You brought another friend…
And then there were 3…
We started our group…
Our circle of friends…
And like that circle…
There is no beginning or end…

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present.


Show your friends how much you care…
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
If it comes back to you, then you’ll know you
have a circle of friends.



When you receive this letter,
I recommend that you send it to all your friends,
including the person who sent it to you!

You don’t have to send it to your friends, it’s your choice.
I don’t want to force you to do it, but trust me;
it’s always good to tell your friends
some nice words now and then
and that you care…

(-: Don’t make them disappointed!

When best friends make perfect lovers

It is one of the most hotly debated questions about relationships, famously posed in the film When Harry Met Sally: can men and women be just good friends?

According to the neurotic Sally, played by Meg Ryan, they can, but Billy Crystal's Harry insists that platonic friendships are doomed because physical attraction always interferes. "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way," he says when they first meet.

But a survey shatters Harry's cynicism by suggesting that friends who become lovers can maintain their friendship even if the sexual relationship breaks down.

The website Friends Reunited polled 2,000 people and found that only a third of friendships ended as a result of friends becoming lovers.

More than eight in 10 of those questioned admitted that they were aware of the so-called "Harry met Sally syndrome" and feared that having sex with a friend would ruin the friendship.

However, of those who had close friends of the opposite sex, 56 per cent of women and 65 per cent of men said they had considered taking the friendship to another level. And of the seven in 10 people who did, only a third said sex had destroyed the friendship.

A third said they were still in the relationship and a third had returned to being good friends.

"If one of your closest friends is a member of the opposite sex and available, and you are looking for a partner, then this does seem the obvious place to start," said Rhoda Moore, head of the website's dating division.

"It's just as likely that if it doesn't work out, you'll go back to just being friends. Best-friend dating makes sense because deep friendship is at the core of any longlasting romantic relationship."

Asked why they had not dated a best friend, half of women said it was because they "just didn't fancy him" and a fifth said they feared it would destroy the friendship. Around a third of men and women shied away from romance with a best friend because "we just know each other too well".

Experts remain divided over whether men and women can ever be just good friends. Susan Quilliam, a relationship psychologist, said she believed that friendship was an excellent foundation for a long-lasting relationship.

"Friends have common values and relationships work if they are built on common values," she said. "The problem is that many people get together on the basis of chemical attraction alone.

"Once the sex 'kicks out', they don't have anything left to maintain a friendship."

But Peter Spalton, who runs workshops on dating, said platonic friendships were possible only if both sides did not want to take the relationship further.

"If one person fancies the other, then the friendship is doomed," he said. "Once someone has made a pass, the whole thing becomes difficult and very awkward."

NICE BOOK

he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out
because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out
/ an excuse is a polite rejection. men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship"
/ don't get tricked into asking him out. if he likes you, he'll do the asking
/ if you can find him, then he can find you. if he wants to find you, he will
/ just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.
/ "hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. even if you live in new york.
/ men don't forget how much they like you. so put down the phone.
/ you are good enough to be asked out.

he's just not that into you if he's not calling you
men know how to use the phone
/ if he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.
/ if he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.
/ don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do.
/ if he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
/ "busy" is another word for "asshole." "asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.
/ you deserve a freaking phone call.

he's just not that into you if he's not dating you
"hanging out" is not dating
/ guys tell you how they feel even if you refuse to listen or believe them. "i don't want to be in a serious relationship" truly means "i don't want to be in a serious relationship with you" or "i'm not sure that you're the one." (sorry)
/ better than nothing is not good enough for you!
/ if you don't know where the relationship is going, it's okay to pull over and ask.
/ murky? not good.
/ there's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend. quit goofing around and go find him!

he's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else
there's never going to be a good excuse for cheating
/ there is no excuse for cheating let me say it again. there is no excuse for cheating. now you say it. there is no excuse for cheating.
/ your only responsibility;ity in someone else's lapse in judgment is to yourself.
/ cheating is cheating. it doesn't matter whom it was with or how many times it happened.
/ cheating gets easier every time it's done. it's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.
/ cheaters never prosper.
/ a cheater only cheats himself, because he doesn't get to be with you.

he's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk
if he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired
/ it doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. an "i love you" (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won't hold up in court or in life.
/ drinking and drug use are not a path to one's innermost feelings. otherwise people wouldn't smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their fingers in fire to see if they can feel anything.
/ if he only wants to see you, talk to you, etc., when he's inebriated, it ain't love---it's sport.
/ bad boys are actually bad.
/you deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.

he's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you
love cures commitment-phobia
/ "doesn't want to get married" and "doesn't want to get married to me" are very different things. be sure about which category he falls under.
/ if you have different views about marriage, what else are you not on the same page about? time to take inventory.
/ if you don't feel like you're rushing, why are you waiting?
/ there's a guy out there who wants to marry you.

he's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you
"i don't want to go out with you" means just that
/ you can't talk your way out of a breakup. it is not up for discussion. a breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
/ he doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
/ there's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

he's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you
sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself.
/ he might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he's just not that into you.
/ no answer is your answer.
/ don't give him the chance to reject you again.
/ let his mother yell at him. you're too busy.
/ he wasn't good enough for you.

he's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak
if you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy
/ life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
/ you deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
/ you already have one asshole. you don't need another.
make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
/ have faith. what other choice is there?

Forget Him

Forget his name, forget his face.
Forget his kiss, his warm embrace.
Forget his love that once was true
Remember now, there's someone new

Forget the love you two once shared.
Forget the fact that he once cared.
Forget the times you spent together.
Remember now he's gone forever.

Forget how you cried all night long.
Forget it when they play your song.
Forget how close you two once were.
Remember now that he chose her.

Forget the times he used to phone.
Forget the times you were alone.
Forget he made your dreams come true.
Remember now there’s someone new.

Forget his gentle teasing ways.
Forget how you saw him everyday.
Forget the things you planned to do.
Remember now, she loves him too.

Forget the thrills when he came by.
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he spoke your name.
Remember now things aren't the same.

Forget the way he held your hand.
Forget the sweet things if you can.
Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget them all, they are in the past.

Forget he said, “I’ll leave you never."
Remember now, he's gone forever.

My Brain Is In Haywire Again

I want nothing more than to be through with you
But how can I be through when there is
nothing to throw away?
Nothing but a friendship that will never blossom
A friendship that I ponder over night and day

I cannot hear you

Thoughts of you run through my head as the sun rises
A phantom in my mind never gone
A brief respite during the moon's journey in the sky
And once again you haunt me with the dawn

I cannot hear you

You pluck the strings of your guitar with familiarity and love
Would that you would pluck the strings of my heart
Instead, your presence torments me for you are not mine
Never will we be together, but neither far apart

I cannot hear you

You will never let me go
You will always unconsciously hold on tight
I will never be free, nor would I want to be
But never will I hear the words to make my soul take flight

I cannot hear you

I have the courage to tell you, but you will never see
You will never tell me what I want to hear
Instead you'll give your soul to another
And my lonely heart will cease to beat and disappear

You cannot see my broken heart,shattered on the floor
I will never hear your heart…

……You will always be blind to me.

Givin` Up On You

Silence and quiet
Again in my life
Far from these moments, I wish I was

Passion and truth
We were about
Before these shadows stole the beat of our hearts

After all we have been through
I can only look at you
Through the eyes you lied to
I'm givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up on you
After all if there is no way out
If you cannot stand beside me
If there isn't love, there is only pride
I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up this fight

Undo this leash
When you say I tied
When only our fears are to blame this time
And what am I to you
Just spit it out
I'm not afraid of the words that you hide

After all we have been through
I can only look at you
Through the eyes you lied to
I'm givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up on you
After all if there is no way out
If you cannot stand beside me
If there isn't love, there is only pride

I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up this fight

Where do we go
When did it all crash
When did it start to fall apart

Silence and quiet
Passion, the truth
Shadows, only shadows

After all if there is no way out
If you cannot stand beside me
If there isn't love, there is only pride
I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up

After all we have been through
I can only look at you
Through the eyes you lied to
I'm givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up on you
After all if there is no way out
If you cannot stand beside me
If there isn't love, there is only pride
I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up this fight
Givin' up, givin' up this fight
Givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up this fight
I'm givin' up, givin' up tonight
Givin' up, givin' up
I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up
I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up this fight

For The Brokenhearted

Love hurts. It's a fact that has been established millions of times since people took over this planet. The havoc love can wreak on one's life is a universal truth. Which makes me wonder why no one ever taught us how to deal with it. In school, we were taught our 123s and ABCs. We were equipped with knowledge on sciences and sports. We were instructed on how to cut frogs open, how electricity works, we were even drilled on what to do during an earthquake. But why were we never given a step-by-step recovery guide in case someone trampled on our hearts?

Or were our teachers just as clueless? Were they hurting too? Most people - like us - were left with no choice but to let love be the teacher. And love has a lot of lessons to teach.

You haven't known love if you haven't experienced staring at a phone that just refuses to ring, sobbing loudly into a pillow, wondering why sad songs suddenly become gospel.

True, it's not fun. There is no joy in waking up with swollen eyes, in figuring out what went wrong, in guessing if he still thinks about you, in weighing if there was any truth to anything he ever said, in hoping that there is still a chance.

But find comfort in the fact that you are not alone. There are broken hearts all over the world.

Somewhere in South Africa, a girl is looking through old photos, wondering if she should burn them.

Somewhere in New York, a girl just sent an angry e-mail to an ex and immediately regretted it after.

Somewhere in New Zealand, a boy is getting drunk because the girl he loves is getting married tomorrow.

Somewhere in Spain, a woman just broke down after finding out that her husband is cheating.

You are not alone. Yours is not the first heart to be broken nor will it be the last. But know that the human heart is strong enough to withstand pain and powerful enough to move on and start again.

You will heal, like all the others did, like everyone else will.

Things will get better, although it's hard to imagine now. One day, when you wake up and realize that not all men are evil, you might even decide that you are ready to love again.

In the meantime, I will be here to listen to you denounce love even if we know you don't really mean it. I will be here for late-night pigout sessions. I will be the audience to your drama queen. I will participate in memento-burning ceremonies. I will strap my seatbelt on and go where your mood swings take me. And I will try to stop you from drunk-dialling - and intoxicated texting and e-mailing.

Because if there's one thing a broken heart needs - it's the presence of a friend.

I should know - you showed me that.

Please remember - only your heart is broken..

But you will always be whole to me.

Reasons why I'm not in a relationship right now

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

I want to be a like a free bird.
Hinihiritan ako ng friend ko na tibo kasi hindi pa ako nagkakaboyfriend at ayoko pa magkaboyfriend. Hindi naman ako na-ooffend kung tinatanong ako ng ganun dahil I know myself naman. Meron ba na tibo na mahilig sa PINK? hehe.. :D

Anyway, on my way home.. sa tagal nang aking biyahe naisip ko ang mga rason kung
bakit ayaw ko pa talaga pumasok sa isang relasyon.

Naikumpara ko tuloy sa sitwasyon ng isang ibon na nakakulong. Ako, si Cheryl na optimistic lagi ay nagiging pessimist pagdating sa isang relasyon. Hahaha! :D

Being in a romantic relationship with someone is like a cage... with all the retrictions, commitment, etc. Pero di mo rin maaalis ang mga good things na naidudulot nito.
Di ba kapag ang isang ibon, kapag kinulong mo at nasanay sa kulungan tapos bigla mo pinakawalan o iniwan na mag-isa maari itong mamatay? Pwede siguro magsurvive din ang ibon depende sa pagiging adaptive ng ibon. Hay, kawawang ibon. After matuwa at maaliw ang tao sa iyo kaya ka niya ginawang alaga, pagkatapos iiwan na lang ang ibon kung bigla nagsawa ang tao.
Heartbreak. I never want to experience this. I fear the feeling of being so vunerable.
Pride. When there is pride in your heart, there is no room for love.
Love. I'm not yet ready for this. But I believe when the right time comes, I will be able to face my fears in having a relationship even the fear of getting my first heartache just to spend one day with a guy I love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Random Thoughts

* i watched legally blonde for the nth time last night. it's so funny. anyway, elle woods mentioned a lot of things regarding one's hair. i want to change the look of my hair. i just don't know what exactly to do with it. i can have it cut or have it permed. let's see…

* it's annoying that people always demands an explanation, even at situations where it isn't necessary. i hate explaining why i do some things, especially if they're unconventional things.

* it feels so weird whenever i go out with some guy friends [i don't go out on dates, esp. after reading "i kissed dating goodbye." i just hang out with friends once in a while]. i guess, i've been so used to going out with only one guy. but i'm having fun now, anyway.

* there are opportunities to go out on a date, i just don't take them. i'm not comfortable with it. i meet some guys because of work, but no one has really caught my attention. they're awesome guys, but they're not "somebody" nor "someone." [the hell with me, i can't think of creative codenames].

* loraine wants to play matchmaker and wants to pair me up with a writer she met in a media trip to lb. oh well, let's see if he's interesting. she said, he looks like dennis trillo. hmm…

* there are things about me that i want to tell "someone." but i'm a bit scared of what his reaction might be. it has nothing to do with him, but i think telling him this will make me feel at peace and will somehow shed light on why i'm acting like this now.

* i don't want to be pretentious when i deal with "someone." i don't care if he thinks i'm weird, malabo, maldita and mataray. i tell him what's on my mind [most of it]. i tell him what i feel [well, at least about my faith, depression, confusion and feelings for my ex. i'm quiet about my feelings for him]. whenever i'm with him and whenever i talk to him, i can be myself. there are no masks, no covers, no fronting images -just my flawed imperfect self.

* i'm reading the book, "let me be a woman." it has become one of my favorite books even if i hadn't finished it yet. it talks about being a woman and being a woman for God. cool.

* i need a prayer journal. there are a lot of things and a lot of people t'm praying for.

* i don't understand why books that doubles as a journal are too expensive. there's less text and less ink is needed to print, but they're still too expensive!

* quoting ricky: is it possible for things to become a lot worse when they're already bad enough.

* musing on what ricky said: yup, things can still be a lot worse. when it rains, it really pours…

* a friend and i were talking one time. we were talking about the issue that when you have become a Christian, that's actually when the temptation is greater and the tests are harder. when you've become a Christian that doesn't mean you've become a saint or an angel. and it doesn't mean you won't have problems anymore. things change though because you learn to trust everything to God.

* God gives the best to those who leave Him the choice.

* i like reading joanna's blog. well, maybe because i see similarities between her situation and mine. anyway, she had a recent entry where she said she thought that maybe she's a jerk magnet. well, she's not alone…

* well, "someone" isn't a jerk [but we're not romantically involved anyway]. he's actually a nice guy, that's the reason why i don't want to do anything stupid and make things unpleasant between us.

* i have a friend who had a crush on "someone" when we were all still in high school. she knows about my current feelings about "someone," she said it's fine with her [i hope it really is]. but i assured her that nothing romantic is going on between us. "someone" is very loyal to "some girl."

* i miss "somebody" [the hell ma-anne, the hell]

* i received a free ringtone today from gentext and it's "sa kanya" of mymp. i hate that song. i hate it so much.. anyway, i don't want its lyrics to be applicable to me. hello! i want to be happy with someone else [not necessarily "someone" hahaha].

* i told a friend last night that i believe men are naturally polygamous and women just have to bear with it [words from a martyr, i guess]. i don't know what he thought of what i said.

* sometimes i can be such a silly girl.

* what friends say regarding me ending up back to my ex:
"huwag na ma-anne, masasaktan ka lang lalo." -gnd friends
"it wouldn't work." -loraine
"light and darkness cannot co-exist. saved ka na. hindi mo na dapat icompromise iyon." -Christian friend.

* i don't know if i should be flattered, but i'm actually annoyed that there are guys who use lousy pick-up lines to get my attention when I walk alone inside a mall. and there are guys who take my picture without permission. [what the hell will they do with my photos?!?]

* a friend asked me when was the last time i cried. hmmm… the other sunday? cool, i haven't cried for a week.

* ignorance is bliss… what you don't know, won't hurt you.

* sarah is abraham's wife. God promised abraham that he'll be the father of all nations through his wife sarah. but they became old and still they had no child. so sarah gave her servant hagar to abraham so that hagar will bear children for her. but God fulfilled His promise to sarah and abraham, even if it took a long time. they had a son - isaac. now conflict arose with sarah and hagar because of their children. hagar was sent away. and up to this day this conflict between these two women is still manifested between israelites and other tribes in their area. moral of the story: God has His own timetable. we might not understand it, but He'll fulfill His promise in the best time. and if we do something that isn't according to His plan, things wouldn't turn out well.

Ever After Ends

No one wants to have a sad ending but there’s no such thing a happily ever after.
I was running away without think where to go and until when should I run I just want to get away from here, from everybody and most of all from you. I keep stumbling on strangers who offered their hands but just like anybody they wanted something in return something I can’t give them.
If I tried to indulge myself on every opportunity I wonder what could have been left of me now. Why can’t they need me because they wanted to give me something instead they needed me because they wanted something from me. Is it how the world works now?
It’s happening once again. History is just repeating on to me. Am I to be blame? Yes I know I should be the one to be blame. I was careless and I never really learned. I keep on rushing on love and look where it took me. I believe in your words but tears flowed in my eyes. But in the end I should have known; you where just a boy but I expected a man out of you.
You have said your goodbyes I didn’t mind for it is what I’m dying to hear just let me have my peace once again. Yes you have hurt me I have cried to it but please I’m not begging you anything because when it ends it’s really over. I don’t usually look back to it. I don’t mind my loneliness again I’m used to live my life, I breathe and I live. I could say that I had enough for myself to live and yet why is it that I’m still incomplete?
Hope someday you’ll remember me this way: ea is sweet, she’s caring, thoughtful, she’s special, she’s my friend and I’m glad for once she’s been mine.


screaming thoughts
On twist of faith I was brought to this stranger’s arms without hesitation on the consequences of such actions. Now in my confusion I’m asking myself: was my quest been concluded then or this is just the succession of one’s endeavor for another pursuit.
Sweet resentments still lingered in my heart that I find things hard to let go. But being cuddled warmly and pampered with such touch how can I be oblivious with it. Every embrace promises love and every kiss burns with such ardor unraveling within me making me forget that once I lay freezing in the sands on one cold night.
I feel like indulging if this is what being with him awaits me I want to kiss yesterday goodbye. Finally I was able to stop the madness that slowly wrecking me. If only he’ll give me enough time to rearrange everything so that I can wholly bestow thy heart that longed for and to love.
Is this for real maybe where just moving too fast….
It’s not easy to be me; it’s not easy to disregard a year of living a half-life. Hoping, chasing and dreaming that one-day you will be loved too. Waiting in vain. Giving and losing yourself at once. I’m aware he found it hard to know me as well.
Sometimes I’m blunt I hate the feeling of being helpless and vulnerable to someone. Cause when your weak people tend to take advantage of you. And when I’m on the verge of anger I breakdown and cry. Tears the remedy for pain.
But twice I’ve been save by the coldness of the night from terrible pain. I can’t bear the hurt but because of too much coldness I felt numb I wasn’t able to shed my tears.
Why such things had to happen, does everybody doesn’t want me to be happy? It must be me, I shall take the blame, the fault is my own. Everything is going in circles it’s happening again.
What a perfect setting: one rainy night I lay all my cards; I wasn’t hoping for anything just the end of this misery. Coldness surrounding me willing and ready to comfort me. Shall I tell you now? Or I’ll just continue torturing myself thinking of what the hell is going on with you?
Is this your definition of love? Then you haven’t loved at all. I tried on any level of comprehension a person can do, to understand you but how long does it going to be like this? If you no longer needed me in your life then please let me fly someone else might want to take care of me.
After all I alone made all the decisions for my actions and its evident that I shall be blame on the consequence of these. Sometimes you have to see yourself on a different angle to know your mistakes..

100% true.

1. There are at least two people in
this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever
hate you is because they want to be
just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring
happiness to anyone, even if they
don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about
you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know
exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake
ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has
turned its back on you take another
look.
11. Always remember the compliments
you received. Forget about the rude
remarks.

So..........If you are a loving
friend, send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really
do love you.
And always remember....when life hands
you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt
and call me over!

Good friends are like stars........You
don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.

"Whenever God Closes One Door He
Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"

I would rather have one rose and a
kind word from a friend while I'm here
than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

RETURN TO SENDER
Forward to all your friends, including
me. And don't tell me you're too busy
for this. Don't you know the
phrase "stop and smell the flowers"?
See how many "bouquets" you end up
with.

Take just a minute to take this test & see what happens!

1. Which is your favorite color: RED, BLACK, BLUE, GREEM, or YELLOW?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more , BLACK or WHITE?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like MANILA or CEBU more?
8. Do you like a LAKE or the OCEAN more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one)


When you're done, scroll down. Don't cheat


ANSWERS:

1. If you choose:
RED - You are alert and your life is full of love.
BLACK - you are conservative an d aggressive.
GREEN - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
BLUE - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the
ones you love.
YELLOW - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those
who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K - You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R - You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life
is soon to blossom.
S-Z - You like to help others and you r future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
JAN - MAR: The year will go very well for you and you will discover
that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
APR - JUN: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
JUL - SEP: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
OCT - DEC: Your love life will be great, you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose...
BLACK: Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the
best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
WHITE: You have a friend who Completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
MANILA: You like adventure.
CEBU: You are a laid back person.

8 . If you chose:
LAKE: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
OCEAN: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with y our smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, out to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

You have been Tagged by the Green Dog!

I'm sorry, i left a hole

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. WHEN YOU SAY THINGS IN ANGER, THEY LEAVE A SCAR JUST LIKE THIS ONE. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, THE WOUND IS STILL THERE. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Now send this to every friend you have!!And to your family.


PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE EVER LEFT A HOLE...

What a life?

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate,neighbor, coworker, longlost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count!!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before,and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

*MOST IMPORTANTLY!!!* If you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store!!!

Friendship and Love

Get the best feeling in the world when you say "Hi" or smile at me, because I know that even for a second that I've crossed your mind.


The shortest word for me is I
The sweetest


word for me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU


Love is like sunshine. It brings a golden glow to its beholder's face. And a warm feeling all over their body. It awakens souls and opens eyes. And when its over, it leaves billions of small memories called stars. To remind the world, that it still exists.


When you love someone, it's something. When someone loves you, it's another thing. When you love the person who loves you back, it's everything


If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the
situation... You fix it .
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend . And if u
don't, tomorrow can be too late


If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you,,,,
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .


If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him.
Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell
her/him today , tomorrow can be too late


If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for
it today, tomorrow can be too late.


If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they
leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.


"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."


"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny."


To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to."


Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it


Good friends are like stars


Good FRIENDS are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget..


Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."


Can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.


Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway


If I should stay I will only be in your way so i'm go but i know I think of you every step throughway
and I will olways love you I will always love you you my dolling you because sweet man mores there's on I'm taking with me so good by please don't Cray you need I will always love you I will always love you I home life tech you come and I home you have are you dream dup and I wish you joy and happen noise and above this I wishing you …..

where did it all go wrong?

I was drawn into a heated discussion with Dot this week. We discussed the never ending issue of heartbreak. We talked about this before, but it decided to resurface again. How does heartbreak differ between different relationship situations? The situations we saw were, 1) Jumping into a relationship without knowing a person first and 2) falling in love or jumping into a relationship with a close friend. I wanted to know how did getting over these relationship breakups differ?
I’ve had all sorts of relationships, some weird and some which felt like I had found the one, and I’ve also fallen in love. When I broke up from a relationship with a guy or girl who I didn’t really know completely about the period of heartbreak was only short. It took only about a week to 2-3 months to get over. When I was in a serious relationship with a person who was once a close friend and we broke up, it took me a year to get over it and to be able to talk to that person again. Still now I hold a tiny grudge against that relationship. Then I fell in love with someone I couldn’t have. Someone who I knew and just admired.
In most short-term relationship we get over them pretty well. The hardest relationship breakups to get over though are the ones where we’ve poured our whole heart and soul into it. Not only were you just holding each other in a relationship, but you’re also each others bestfriend. When things go wrong though you feel betrayed. Friendship is hard to hold onto after a breakup because you just focus too much on the hurt. Unless you had a ‘real’ mutual breakup then it’d be easier to handle. The heart works in mysterious ways.
Falling in love and getting over that person after being rejected though is another story. You try to do whatever’s best for the situation. Sometimes you see things which cause you to be confused. You prioritise what is important, having a relationship with this person? or maintaining a healthy friendship? Then you think everything is right now, until change suddenly happens after commiting yourself to maintaining that friendship. I have felt betrayal, I have felt left out. Sometimes the obsessiong can turn into hate. So I try to express myself in ways which don’t harm me. As an artsy person I express my feelings through my music or scribbles. I also try not to put myself in situations where i’m aggravated by thoughts.
There are no real answers to heartbreak. All I did was a slight comparison in my own opinion. People see things and experience things differently. I guess it just takes a few burns before we find the right partner or the right friend.
God bless & Peace out

pinkie promise…

I haven’t touched this Wordpress in ages. It’s time I updated with a brief look on my thoughts about ‘Promises.’
Making promises.We’ll always say that we’d keep them but somehow our tongue always slips or we just simply forget we made them. To be honest, i for one do not like to keep promises. I’m a very forgetful person and so therefore when a person asks me to do something for them I only say, “I’ll try, but I can’t promise.” Making promises sometimes puts us into a lot of trouble. Sometimes we get hurt when a promise isn’t kept.
She what?! He what?! Forgot their promise with you, broke it? It hurts. Yes it hurts. I see making promises a way of putting candy floss, cushions, clouds and other sweet things ontop a mountain of selfishness. To me a promise is like the sugar ontop. It’s a sign of ownage. You make someone promise, that is a sign of power. I don’t want promises, i want to be certain that what I ask for is done now. But if you see a task that is hard to do yet you force a person to promise on it, please don’t complain you’re hurt. If they promised to buy you something understand their circumstances, maybe they’re just making you wait so that yo appreciate things more. If it is something serious that tears you apart, pulls your heart out and throws it against the wall, then obviously who’s fault is it? You own for trusting this person. There you learn your mistakes.
“Oh…oops sorry I forgot about that.” The line that we wish will never leave our lips. I put my hands up to forgetting things i’ve promised to people. They get angry with you and if it’s something really important, like a close friend’s engagement party, then they don’t talk to you for a long time (lucky for me that engagement broke up, i saw the end of it coming). The only way to squeeze our way out of these problems. Think before you speak. We make promises to the people we love, but sometimes (because we’re all human!) we forget. If you’re sure you’re going to keep the promise freaking stick post-its everywhere to remind yourself (like me). If it’s a promise meant to be kept secret well my strategy? “Oh it’ll stay a secret if you want to tell me because I forget.” Most secrets i’ve sworn not to telling are all forgotten and are only triggered by things that remind me about it. Sometimes i’d forget it for about a year, then something will spark me to remember it. But still avoid making hard-to-do promises. If you’re really sure about it then make that promise, if not, just take my line, “I’ll will or will not, I can’t make it a promise.” It should be understandable, unless the person is everly selfish and wants you to be owned by them. That is called PAWNAGE! Don’t become his/her bitch! Think before you speak, that is something extremely valuable to me.
Promises, promises, promises. If you can’t keep them then don’t make them. If they can’t keep them, then don’t tell them. Learn to contemplate promises. Promises can draw people together, but remember, the hurt that sometimes comes from broken promises can tear people apart. You just have to understand that not all promises can be kept, just like how people like to say, “rules were made to be broken.” *sigh* how I love cliches.

why only now?…

We can have very strong feelings for people, but it doesn't mean we should act on it. There will always be struggles between the heart and mind. For myself, i'm a person who tends to follow her heart, a lot. Then there are times when I need to think logically. Yet again i'm notorious for not thinking before I speak or act.

Feelings are hard to get rid off, but be reminded, feelings don't always last. What the heart wants isn't always what the mind wants. Still we keep thinking about these feelings, breaking them down and looking at them over again. sometimes it hurts other times we look at them blankly. Feelings, emotions, can really screw around with your perception though. It can cause you to lose focus on goals in your life.

People sacrifice a lot of things to follow their heart. The outcome can either be good or bad. I guess this is why we put a lot of thoughts in our feelings. It's hard to tell the difference between love and lust. Like in my previous post about finding "the one." How do you know? How can you tell? What is it that you're meant to feel when you find them? There's just too many questions to ask. How can you trust what you're feeling right now? Have you noticed how we don't really choose carefully who we fall in love with, yet we take our time to carefully choose our enemies? Love, is unpredictable.

Currently i'm raged by a million thoughts which I thought I had forgotten. Really I don't want them in my mind, but they are there. I can keep denying it to myself, I can distract myself, but they will always float back. My body isn't handling it well. There's so many thoughts which I wish I could just tell to go away. My mind is in a jumble, my heart is yelling out insults and pulling rude gestures at it. My "feelings" are extremely strong. I've tried everything possible to suppress them, but they've always been there. Really I just wish I could die, but it's pretty much craziness. The only question I can ask myself is, "Why?"

As strong as feelings can be we have to have the right reasons to make the right decisions. The mind and heart are like split entities. They like to argue with each other and sometimes they like to agree with one another. So it's confusing when you want to act on your heart's desires, but your brain is screaming "NO" at you.

God Bless & Peace Out!

heal over…

It’s a strange feeling when you smile even though life is really tough. It’s also a greater feeling when you know your heart has been healed. The only reason why we can’t get over heartbreak and pain is because we don’t allow ourselves to. It’ll heal naturally, but sometimes we unconsciously tear it open again. The truth though is, the remedy to heartbreak is within yourself to find it and allow it to heal.

The things we do to “get over it” are only short term because eventually the thoughts cross back into your mind. For now I can only scratch the surface about being healed. I’ve found something great, and to be honest i’ve never felt as much joy in my heart. It feels great to look at a person and just smile. It’s awesome to wake up knowing that a heartbreak doesn’t mean the end of life. Sometimes we get so dilusional about finding the one in our lives we hold so fast to it. Our minds go crazy and we no longer think properly. Be a little logical, if you were to find “the one” would they cause you hurt in the first place? Would they tear your heart out, throw it on the floor and compromise everything they’ve said and done? I think not, and maybe mutual decisions were for the greater good. To some of us, maybe we really need to re-examine ourselves. How do you know what true love isif you haven’t being burned more than once? Some people find it without having to go through past failures. Eventually though, things will fall into place and something deep inside you will tell you that you’ve made the right choice.

My joy is unexplainable. For a long time I was heavy-hearted but I can now feel a heavy burden lifted off my chest. Where did I find my remedy? Well that’s for you to ask, and for you to find. I can only speak how I feel and if you wish to know I will point you in that direction. If you don’t like that decision it is your loss. I’m not only smiling because of a broken heart, but i’m also smiling because I have found my strength and inspiration again. There are decisions in life A) and B). We can’t choose both nor can we leave it for too long to answer. Sometimes decisions are made too late and the consequences can never be changed back.

God bless & peace out...

I’ve recently realised that some people are actually coming across this journal by searching my actual name. It’s a little freaky because nobody leaves comments either. Feedback to any of my posts though is encouraged.

how far apart…

How long does it take you to realise that a person means everything to you? Sometimes we take it for granted because the person is always there. It isn’t until that they are gone we realise how much they mean to our heart. I say this because, it doesn’t just happen between lovers, but in all degrees of relationships.

The same old jokes will make you laugh and reminicing about the past will make you cry. When you find a special person in your life you treasure them just like you treasured your very first toy. Friendship isn’t always easy to hold fast to because people are forever changing. Also sometimes we carelessly choose our friends. Have you noticed how we take more time to choose our enemies than we do to choose our friends? Sometimes we dwell upon the thought of our enemies that it turns into an obsession and then that obsession can also turn into love. Pretty crazy isn’t it? There are also different types of friends you can find. Those who are close, but not too close, those who only know you by what they see, and those who are literally like a sister/brother to you.

Why am I discussing this topic? My reason is that recently a lot of ‘old’ friends have started contacting me again. It’s strange, but sweet at the same time. A lot of them I stopped talking to after graduating from highschool and only saw them at random parties or around the city. All of them though have left a small impression in my life.

The friends I have now I care for very much. My bestfriend means a lot to me too, but during that process of friendship was a lot of confusion and pain going through my heart. I only have my faith to thank for seeing me through because I suddenly realised why she meant so much to me. You realise that someone means so much to you when your hearts are apart. You feel a sense of emptiness and longing to at least hear that person’s voice again. But time spent apart can also create a stronger bond between two people. How you may ask?

The abilities that we have are more than amazing. No we’re not X-men. We can do anything to keep in touch with the person we love. Sending letters, phone calls, e-mails, and diaries. Yet it’s amazing that sometimes the time apart brings two people closer together, it can even bring a group closer together. Real friendship though is when no matter how long the time apart is, it could even be years, you can still bump into each other and love each other as if the time apart never even existed. One thing I learnt from a friend of mine is that, some of the friendships I have are more than just words and seeing each other. It’s about trust, knowing that the person will continue to love you no matter how far they are, knowing that you’ve made that much of a impression in their life. Only the heart knows who your real friends are, and it will tell you when the time comes.

will you remember me?…

It’s scary when you realise you’ve forgotten someone who is meant to be or was once important to you. The one thing I fear is to be forgotten by a person who says they love me. It is true that time and distance is what holds people together and apart. My state of mind isn’t stable at the moment. I may seem calmed and relaxed on the outside, but that is only a mask to cover the thoughts raging in my mind. I humor myself sometimes with my thoughts too, I ask myself why I think so much.

Let’s look at the truth though, we have being blessed with this gift of thought, reasoning, and contemplating. There’s just some of us who don’t embrace this gift or there’s some of us who take it too seriously. Thinking too much can destroy a person. Dwelling on things and not letting things take their path, questioning situations, contemplating truths, it can destroy a person’s soul.

How do you avoid this pathway of thoughts to destruction? Trying to ignore them, trying to find distractions are only short term solutions. Instead confront what causes these questions, stop asking yourself the questions and ask someone else. Obviously you don’t know the answers, but maybe someone else does. If it’s a different type of question, like, why do certain things happen, let it take its course. Be an observer, things happen because they were meant to. I don’t know why or how, but things happen. Thinking doesn’t do anything, doing does something. You can’t change situations by thinking about it, you change situations by doing something about it. Even though I said be and observer, if you know you can do something about it then stop hesitating and confront it or make that difference. But be sure that your motivation is of good value because sometimes your actions can hurt or discourage other people along the way.

To be forgotten, or to forget. Which is the worse feeling to feel? Who is the one who is most hurt? I don’t know the answer to my question, but for now I sit patiently and wait to see its outcome. If I do crack it will be my own fault for not acting on my thoughts. Either way i’m prepared to wait, and i’m prepared to be hurt. Life was never meant to be perfect. People are not perfect, but at least some of us try to be by being honest with ourselves and with one another. You’d think that being afraid of heights is scary, i’m afraid of distance.

god bless & peace out

The line between lovers and friends…

What makes friends friends and what makes lovers lovers? When does a friend suddenly turn into something more intimate and why? To be honest I have no bloody clue. The human mind is so complex we still can’t figure it out. At least we know why the sky is blue. Let me make this clear before you keep reading, when I say ‘lovers’ I am not referring to the short-term sex-without-feelings (I hate that term) friend, better known as the F.B., i refer to actual relationships which consist of understood feelings.

We each hold friendship as one of the most important things in our lives. The only thing we pray not to happen is to fall in love with our friends. Why? Maybe we’re afraid that if something were to happen the whole world would fall apart. Okay maybe that’s a bit too dramatic. Like I always say, I can’t give the right answers, nor can I give the wrong answers.

I have a friend. He used to be my boyfriend. We jumped into a relationship without knowing each other properly. Look at your friend, are they really showing you their true colours? When I started going out with him, his true colours shone. It hurt, but because I actually did love him (I was sure with myself that I did, but it was more like puppy love) I lived with it. I’m the commited kind of freak who accepts people the way they are. Then that all ended. Problem, we decided, well he decided, that I be his bestfriend. I don’t know what ran through his mind, but I didn’t like it. We just knew each other too much. It hurt to be honest with him because he only wanted to hear the things he wanted me to say. Even though he says i’m just a bestfriend, he doesn’t act that way around me. We’ve had a million fights “as friends,” but I felt trapped. Everything I said and did had to go by him first. The truth is though, I don’t like being “owned” and I don’t like people prying into every corner of my life. If you ask with good reason then yes maybe, but usually I take the initiative to open up. I speak in my own time. Holding my hand while he’s chasing another girl is inappropriate to me because i’m the most ‘penguinistic’ (monogomous) person on earth, in my own mind. I went through accusations of selfishness, vanity, rudeness, and most of all, bitchiness. It hurt, but I pretended that it was all a joke. Thank you for his honesty, but word of discouragement isn’t what’s meant for a close friendship. Yes, be brutally honest, but don’t accuse as if they’ve commited the worse crime on earth and can’t be granted forgiveness. I was put through guilt trip, after guilt trip. The funny thing is, he was the only one complaining. In the end he just wanted me to be something i’m not. Today i’m still his bestfriend. He’s my close friend, whom I don’t have to, or need to, tell everything. He doesn’t own me. *vent* He’s like a 5 year old!

I digress. A real friend, shows every good and bad side of them. A friend takes risks to be there for you. They promise to always be there for you, but also are honest that they will at least try, because in reality a person can’t always be there. They accept you for who you are, but give you advice and correct you. They are a word of encouragement. When they’re angry with you they don’t keep silent, they tell you how they really feel instead of wearing a fake smile. A friend will listen to you, but you must too in turn. Nothing in friendships, in any relationship should be one-way, like the saying goes, ‘It takes two to tango.’

When you fall in love with a friend, it’s usually because all you ever see is the “saint” side. Sometimes though it can be different. You just love them for their whole being. So you’re left confused wondering what’s the next step. My 101. 1) Be honest with yourself, 2) Be honest with them, 3)Get to know each other a little more, 4) Don’t rush. Yes, a lot of us when we jump into relationships, we’re swept off our feet into the tidal wave of love. Sometimes we move so fast things end quicker. Take it step by step, and eventually it may be something that lasts. Maybe you might grow old together. 5) Brush your teeth, okay I pulled that out from stupidity.

But who ever said that one of your closest friends should become your lover? Who ever said that you have to marry them because you both click well? Nobody. The only thing that will tell is time and also listening to not only your heart, but your mind. If two are in conflict, then kill one or the other. Okay I take that back. If you are torn between the two then the answer is, NO. When the heart chooses something, the mind must agree too. Otherwise when you jump into the relationship there will be doubt. Doubt should never be in any relationship. Do not doubt the friendship of your bestfriend, do not doubt the love of your boy/girlfriend. If you do, ask! Don’t be chicken and pretend everything is okay. It only makes the doubt worse. Everybody says this, ‘communication is the best key to a succesful relationship,’ in actual fact, any relationship, be it friendship, family, professional, etc. When you love someone you love them whole heartedly.Sometimes a great friendship is better than a serious relationship. Check yourself first before jumping to conclusions.

We each have our own views. This is mine, what is yours?

God Bless & Peace Out